Ever felt like the energy is being sucked out of you just by listening to someone talk? You try your best to be positive but the harder you try the more negative they become.
Dealing with negativity is pretty hard. I have to admit this more than anyone else. Being the admin of MOD I had to face many negative comments and negative minds. And it really got into me at some point.
We all face our negative moments, we all get low at some point or another in our lives, but that’s not what I am talking about here. Negative people are the ones who are 90% of their times negative. They can never ever feel the sun shine! They complain about almost everything! Oh its sunny, I bet its gona be hot! Oh its raining, I will be soaked! Oh I’m getting thinner and its ugly! Oh look at me I am so fat! NOTHING will ever be satisfying for them.
We are faced with those people on daily basis. So how can we deal with them? Few steps and you will be the expert on that.
First of all, FIND THEM! Whenever you meet someone know to which category they fit. Get to know their energy sources whether being negative or positive. Don’t judge so fast though, because we all can go through negative phases in our lives. So take your time to categorize the person.
For me, once I realize that the person infront of me is a negative person, I try once and twice to advice them or to help out, but then I get way too attached and hurt myself. So I learned a new technique. I get detached. I can hear them complain endlessly and I do help out, but I keep a note to myself that if they didn’t listen to my advice and complained again and again about this, well, its THEIR problem. I don’t get too emotional anymore.
It's the emotions that these negative people stir up in you that you need to learn to distance yourself from. Try just observing the whole scene. Say to yourself, "what a shame this person is so unhappy. Maybe some of my positive energy will rub off on her. If not, her unhappiness has nothing to do with me."
Sometimes, when you are faced with a negative person, try to startle him with the question “give me one positive thing about the situation” and whenever they wander off to the negative side again, hold the steering and turn them back to the positive side. Some people don’t know how negative they have become. Those really need our control on the situation. Help them find the positivity they have lost.
Most of the negative people around us are only attention seekers. They are trying to grab our attention but in a wrong way. So how about giving them attention without them asking? How will they react? Will they still be negative? Try it out. It worked magic for me once I realized this! Some of the people I know used to be VERY VERY VERY negative, but just when I gave her enough attention she turned inside out and showed how lovely she is! All that she ever wanted was an ear to listen! And that’s what she got.
I know being surrounded with so many negativity is so hard, and sometimes you just wish to disappear, but remember, it’s not your problem, it’s theirs. I am only here to make them feel better nothing more nothing less. Be sure that no one can take your positive energy without your approval, only then you won’t feel so helpless and out of energy.
After a long wait, another great article :)
ReplyDeleteI'm sure you are the source of positivity for all your friends ;)
Keep going Layan :)
great article, it really worth the waiting, and i think when we try to motivate a negative person and argue with him we end up gaining motivation ourselves, when reach out for the depth of someone and make him feel better u found that u made yourself feeling better too, and used the positive energy that u own :)
ReplyDeletegreat one Layan <3
ReplyDeleteI do not Totally agree with you guys. Some points mentioned seem fine to me, but others do not.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all; what does it mean to be positive or negative? Think about it thoroughly. Sometimes the things that you see negative can be at the same time a huge motivation for others: a clear example on that is being ANGRY. Most of the success stories emerge from being angry. Anger, while being negative is the drive for humans to do something about their lives. Anger is the first step for CHANGE. It means that:
1. You acknowledge the state you are in.
2. You see something different (your hopes and dreams)
3. You do not accept the current state.
4. You see a clear way to reach these dreams.
5. You start working on it.
In this context, I can define negativity is reaching point 3 but not being able to reach point 4, and this is exactly where the term "obedience" or "giving up" fits. People tend to resist change, thus they try their best to live their life doing the things they are comfortable doing (without thinking), rather than the things they dream doing, although they logically acknowledges that.
I totally agree that you cannot help anyone who does not want to help their self, what you should really do is to dig deeper to explore the dreams and ambitions of the people and help them reach there. The problem with negative people is that they are distracted from their dreams, and your role is to clarify things for them, and make them focus on achieving their dreams.
Hope I am adding value to what you have already enriched us with.