Agree to Disagree – Lend me your glasses and I will share mine

So many times in our lives we argue with people… family members, friends or work colleagues. This is very normal, or let me rephrase the sentence, it’s not normal to always agree with everyone right?

So many people find it hard to share different point of views, and some might even fight over such a thing.  Today I was having a chatting with my friend and we were talking about a very motivational event he had attended last weekend. Besides motivating me to attend this event, he discussed this issue with me “The Classification Theory” 

Here is the idea, or maybe the way I saw it. If we have a set of things, for eg. Attributes of a person and I told you to group these attributes into two groups with different priorities. Each person will group them into different groups right? Taking into consideration that we are classifying the same set of attributes, we all have the same attributes but we’re just grouping them in a different way. 

For more scientific definition Read Here

Now I might classify “Determination, Motivation, Encouragement” in Group A and “Charming, Social, Go-getter” in Group B while you might classify them into different categories. We could fight over this for hours trying to convince each other of our own theory of classification, when no one is wrong and no one is right. It’s just a matter of different views.

This is a very difficult issue in terms of relations with others and we have to find ways to find mutual ground where we can both agree on. How?? It’s a matter of attitude people! 

First of all keep an open mind to other opinions. It’s ok to disagree, its normal to have different mind-sets keep that in mind when you’re ready to punch someone in the face over an opinion. Imagine that you’re always agreeing with your family, it’s boring. Imagine you’re always agreeing with your boss and work colleagues, you will learn nothing. Being different is healthy. Being the same is BORING.

Listen more than you talk. Don’t hear what the other person is saying, no… LISTEN to what he’s saying. Show them that you are trying to find a common ground, make the effort to agree on things not to alter the other person’s way of thinking.

Ok now your turn to talk. So Talk, do not struggle. Learn how to communicate. In any form of discussion or debate, use your mind not your voice. Let the sound of reason be louder than your sound. Be smart in your conversation and lay the pros and cons of any point of view.

RESPECT, RESPECT AND RESPECT. I wish we can understand this a bit more than we pretend to do. Respect other’s opinions, respect other’s presence, respect other’s experiences and knowledge. Say something good or don’t say anything. Never use bad wording in any discussion. It’s a big taboo. 

Accept that sometimes you might even get convinced by other’s opinions. No need to cling to your opinion so badly as if it’s a matter of life or death. Also accept that you won’t be able to convince others sometimes. Some people aren’t that open about accepting different views.

And the key to all the above steps to work is what? ACCEPTANCE! Yes accept that this is only a debate, a discussion between two different mind-sets that are born to be different.

You don’t see what I see, but you can lend me your glasses and I am more than happy to share mine too.